“How Do I Change Channel On My Monitor?” – 10 Dumb PC Helpline Questions

I’ve found that visiting call centres and listening to calls for an hour or so can be very enlightening. Because it is natural to hang out with like-minded people it is easy to forget that not everyone has the same knowledge set.

Just look at these examples from BT in the UK. They just go to prove (as if proof were needed) that there are some very strange, computer illiterate people out there!

Customer: “My mouse mat isn’t wired up”
Advisor: “I’m not sure I understand, your mouse mat shouldn’t have any wires.”
Customer: “well how does it know where my mouse is? Is it wireless?”

Advisor: “Press any key to continue.”
Customer: “I can’t find the ‘Any’ key.”

Customer: “I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don’t want my wife to think that it’s me.”
Advisor: “I will remove them for you.”
Customer: “How do I get them back when she is not in?”

Customer: “I met a man on the internet, can you give me his phone number?”

Advisor: “You have spyware on your machine which is causing the problem.”
Customer: “Spyware? Can they see me getting dressed through the monitor?”

Customer: “How do I change channel on my monitor?”
Advisor: “Your monitor won’t have channels like a TV.”
Customer: “But I was watching the internet channel the other day and now I just get the word processing channel.”

Advisor: “Can you click on ‘My Computer’?”
Customer: “I don’t have your computer, just mine.”

Customer: “My 14 year-old son has put a password on my computer and I can’t get in.”
Advisor: “Has he forgotten it?”
Customer: “No he just won’t tell me it because I’ve grounded him.”

Customer: “I have lost my work.”
Advisor: “Let’s see if we can get your documents back for you?”
Customer: “You don’t understand, I’ve lost my job and I want to get on to the internet to find a new one.”

Customer: “My internet isn’t working”
Advisor: “What modem are you using, is everything connected up?”
Customer: “No I haven’t taken the computer or the modem out of their boxes yet!”

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