Only for Masochists. Sentient Webmasters: stop reading here.

If you’re like some of my crazy friends, you want to be deindexed. It’s a painless process of getting your site quickly taken off Google’s vaunted search directory.

Think of all the advantages: anonymity, solitude and peace. When you’re invisible, no one can spam, flame or cuss you anymore! It’s sheer bliss. Utter nirvana.

So- ready to take the plunge? Go for these 10 Killer Backlinking Strategies and I guarantee a rapid exit from the web arena.

1. Grab Backlinks from sites with connections to shady neighborhoods. Kill your online campaign by exchanging links with hacking, spamming, sex, casino, and link farm sites. Even 10,000 incoming links from porn sites won’t raise you up to PR1
2. Take backlinks bannered as sponsored, paid, donation or advertisement. Get this straight: paid links do not raise PR, even if you forked $1000 to WC3.org to get a listing on their PR9 homepage. As per Google Quality guidelines, webmasters are warned not to participate in any link schemes designed to increase site’s ranking or PageRank.
3. Harvest backlinks from sites not indexed by Google. To discover if a site is indexed, type site:URL in the google search box, then click Search. No results? It ain’t indexed. Linking from these sites is as helpful as getting votes from ghosts. (Warning: this is also an indication that the site may have been penalized by Google if the domain is over a year old.)
4. Rake in backlinks from sites bristling with over 50 outbound links. Check out the Google Quality Guidelines. Pages with over 50 external links aren’t crawled. This means that listing yourself in a directory with over 50 outbound links on a single page was time that could have been spent on your XBox.
5. Leech backlinks from sites with PR0. Always aim for backlinks on a page that has a PR greater than yours. PR0 gives you squat. You’ll need thousands of PR0 backlinks to get a PR1. Is that worth the effort?
6. Explode your backlinks 1000% in a month. You’re easily setting off spam bells on the google servers when you do. Backlinks from  non-popular and non-authority sites in the thousands stink the stench of black hat machinations. It’s like telling the big G that you just purchased 1000 one-way votes from a shady online broker- and this goes counter to Google’s Quality guidelines. Don’t believe me? A friend purchased 5000 inbound links for $49 last year. He got deindexed in a month.
7. Take backlinks from websites hosted on the same IP C Class. Huh? Sites having the same first 3 parts of the IP addresses are in the same IP C class. Google considers these sites as ‘clones’ and clones do not add to you pagerank.
8. Beg links from sites with irrelevant content. Do you sell cars? Then you’re wasting your time soliciting links from the whip and buggy fan clubs. Google will laugh you to PR0.

I once made this mistake with my online asian job website. Using Gotlinks.com, I solicited a pile of irrelevant links that failed to take the site beyond PR1. I quickly abandoned the strategy and amassed a small but focused set of industry links. The site then jumped to PR3 on the March update and is slated to reach PR4-5 on the November 2007 update.Ensure relevance!

9. Use static anchor Text. If all your link partners point to you with the text “The Great Guy”, Google won’t think you’re so great. Big G will take you down a notch or two to prove otherwise.
10. Lavish with Temporary backlinks. It’s cool to be listed for years on the same page of an authority site. It’s not so cool to appear on Netscape’s frontpage for just 2 months- even-though its homepage is PR9. Google discounts this as frustrated flirtation.

If you found this post helpful, drop me a line and I’ll send you even more tips to really piss off Google. How vexed? Matt Cutts himself might send you an envelope with white powder.

Have fun exiting the web arena!