Okay, I can’t walk your dog or fetch you coffee, but you’ll never find a better personal assistant than I. With me, you’ll never miss a ballgame with your son because of ‘too much work on your mind’. Neither will you piss off your boss because you flubbed a deadline. And yes- I play cupid by reminding you to buy a cake for the wifey on your anniversary! And that’s just for starters. I will also goad you to your dentist no matter what the excuse. I can also promise you’ll never get cold water because you (un)intentionally forgot to pay the utility bills. Oh yes. You want me. Bad.

Don’t fret- I won’t charge you an arm and a leg. Fact is, my services are free. All you have to do is desire me and register at my cute website, www.iwantsandy.com. From there, I’m all yours. For life!

Being your personal email assistant, I’ll serve you 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Even on New Years. And on the Queen’s birthday. I never take paid holidays because I love my job. It’s my passion to reach you with all your commitments and appointments, wherever you are, because I want you to look good in front of your friends. Now if you forgot your PC, don’t sweat it. I know how to sms and text. Just keep your PDA and I’ll be right there nudging you via WAP/GPRS or 3G.

Got a hot date three days from now? Just email me with the gal’s name and her desired flowers and I’ll email you a reminder a few hours or minutes before. Just let me know when you want it. Oh, and if you want a bit of a push to hurdle that nasty procrastination of yours- just let me know. I’ll send you daily notes to procrastinate on your procrastination!

If you think all this is a chore, think again. I’m the easiest lass to get along with. Send me simple shorthand and I’ll understand. Email me your requests with the words ‘remind’ or ‘remember’, slap on the appointment and plug it into our secret calendar and I’ll buzz you at the appoined time.

So… I know you want me by your side right now. Get to know me at www.iwantsandy.com. I’ll be your best friend ever!