Marriage. Like death, it is inevitable. Ultimately you will encounter that one “right” person and make the leap, or maybe you will simply reach that point where it dawns on you that if you don’t hurry up and pair off with somebody you are going to grow old and die alone.

We are all selfish creatures, to one degree or another. Marriage will drive that last trace of selfishness out of you like nothing else. It’s like going from a dictatorship to a democracy, and those who aren’t prepared to learn the subtle arts of compromise and diplomacy are headed to divorce court. As Connected Internet’s primary focus is technology and the internet, I have compiled a short list of Tech And Internet Don’ts For The Newlywed Or Soon To Be:

1. Don’t spend all day blogging You know how you used to wake up on your day off and sit around in your sleep pants all day with a cup of coffee and work on the blog? Yeah, well that’s over. Something about sitting in front of the computer all day long while the spouse waits for you to take a shower and go out and do something fun with them tends to piss them off. Save yourself some headache and don’t wait for them to make that observation to you, or pretty soon every time you hop on the computer for even a minute you’ll be hearing about it from them. Learn to schedule your internet time so that it isn’t competing with your spouse. Ultimately it’s much easier to rearrange your web time than to placate an angry spouse. Always satisfy the aspect of your life that can nag you to death and make you unhappy first.
2. If you must blog, make some money doing so Frankly, even if you schedule your internet time in such a way that it isn’t a threat to your spouse, they will still think all the time and effort you expend on the internet is ridiculous. The easiest way to win this argument is with filthy lucre. Nothing helps a spouse understand your internet endeavors like cold, hard cash.
3. Don’t make major tech purchases without getting a green light from accounting first This is so bittersweet. You’ve worked for years and are now getting to a place where you’re comfortable and have money to indulge yourself in ways you weren’t previously able to. You’re also married now, so for God’s sake don’t come home with a new Power Mac or big screen television before you’ve made your business presentation to the significant other and at least gotten a reluctant approval. Spouses have a tendency to think that money would have been better spent on home improvements or new furniture. Oh, and if you’re thinking about coming home with a new SUV as a “surprise”, it sure will be, for you when you spend the next week trying to get back in your spouse’s good graces, or worse, trying to get them to come home because they were so pissed with you that they went to mom’s or a friend’s place.
4. If you’ve made a tech purchase recently, don’t even think about another one for a while If you were fortunate enough to get accounting to sign off on a new media server or laptop, don’t present another sales pitch for a while. Better to get your money together and get new vinyl flooring for the kitchen, or put that privacy fence up in the back yard first. Your success with accounting will increase if you strategically place your requisitions between the bullet points that accounting has presented at your board meetings.

Don’t ask me how I know these things, just save yourself some trouble and take my advice.

Marriage isn’t for everyone, and it has a detrimental effect on technology and the internet. It does have a way of making you smooth out your rough edges and become a better person, so in the end the price paid is worth it for most of us. If you encounter one of the common by-products of marriage, children, you may find yourself in the camp that realizes that perhaps technology and the internet really aren’t so important after all in the grand scheme of things.

Valor James Lankton, my favorite bit of tech

Enjoyed This Post? Subscribe To Get Updates!

Categories: AV&Home Theatre, Blogging News & Tips, Consoles & Video Games, Gadgets & Gizmos, Michael
Tags: Blogging, children, Internet, marriage, tech

Posted: 6th May 2008 by Michael Lankton

9 Comments on “Marriage And It’s Effect On Technology And The Internet”

• 1
  
  guy
  May 7th, 2008 02:29 GMT

  HI Michael. When does a compromise or a democracy turn into an erasing of your own character when you choose to share your life with someone?

  I don’t think there is an answer to this (although I have written a lot myself about these issues).

  I think essentially, for each of us we have to choose what we can offer up to our partners that we are willing to reduce/stop, and what is so important to us we continue that we decide it is part of who we are.

  I think it is important that this is a conscious process and one that is not stumbled upon as the situations occur only to generate potential bitterness between each of you.

  I agree and believe that it is important to change your ways to share your life with someone but it is vital that you do not loose what is the essence of you in that process.

  So many separations are due to this, and so many people afterwards realise they compromised themselves too much and lost part of themselves that they missed within a relationship.

  Love the blog. Keep it up :O)
• 2
  
  mlankton
  May 7th, 2008 02:39 GMT

  Well first of all the article, while containing more than a bit of truth, is obviously tongue in cheek.

  I think I’m pretty clear on marriage and parenthood opening up avenues of growth that make us not just better spouses and parents, but better people. I wouldn’t change a thing about my life.

  Thanks for the comment, keep reading CI
• 3
  1
  
  Pingback: How Much Did You Give In Your Relationship? | Self-Esteem Low? Depression Getting You Down? Infidelity Leading You To Divorce? You Might Be In Your Midlife Crisis!
  May 7th, 2008 02:42 GMT
• 4
  
  guy
  May 7th, 2008 03:08 GMT

  Understand Michael :O)

  your article does touch on something more fundamental about relationships and what individuals are and can give and accept about changing themselves. What is giving too much about? what is giving too little about? perhaps this is a bit too heavy at this hour of the morning :O)
• 5
  
  mlankton
  May 7th, 2008 03:36 GMT

  No problem. My mom was a hippie in Berkeley and lived on an ashram in Pennsylvania post-hippie. She now teaches kundalini yoga and hosts women’s groups and does naturopathic healing. There was nothing less cool to me than their generation’s masturbatory self-involvement when I was coming of age.

  I was in a hardcore punk band in the 80s, then a biker, now I’m in law enforcement. I tend to be more pragmatic and matter-of-fact. There’s no question that if you at all feel that the journey we’re all on should result in some sort of evolution of the spirit that you appreciate the implications of marriage and parenthood before you engage, and during the trip.

  Honestly, most days I could just use a good nap to recover from all the double shifts I work, and more time with my two year old. Oh yeah, and a date with my wife so we remember why we thought all this was a good idea in the first place. If there’s any time left over after all that, I might even write a blog article or watch a movie on my big screen
• 6
  
  Phil from I'm no electrician
  May 7th, 2008 11:12 GMT

  This is one thing I understand very well ;o)

  Sometimes finding that 1 person who understands the need for Tech can also help.
• 7
  
  Nicole Price
  May 7th, 2008 15:13 GMT

  Where were you when I started blogging?
• 8
  
  Susie, Repossession Stoppers UK
  May 9th, 2008 10:30 GMT

  so so true, my husband has his own internet business, so he is always working from home. It is so annoying. I know he is just trying to earn a living, but some nights he will have his dinner and go straigh on his laptop. Grrr
• 9
  
  Nikki Flores
  May 11th, 2008 03:40 GMT

  I read this post out loud to my husband…Very comical but also true!

Subscribe without commenting
E-Mail:

Trackback

Leave a Reply

Name (required-no anchor text)

Email (not published)

Website (optional)

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail

Comment Policy: Any comments are permitted only because the site owner is letting you post, and any comments could be removed for any reason at the absolute discretion of the site owner.